Never thought I’d be asking this question on a forum. Feels almost as bad as asking directions!

I’m struggling though to get a dipstick reading that I’m happy with.  Firstly my drive (and whole street) is on a slope (rear lower than front) so to get a level reading I’d have to park the car for hours in a different street. So Q1.  Is the reading susceptible to a slope?

I’ve tried checking it in a flat car park, but 2-3 hours isn’t long enough for the engine to cool sufficiently and oil to thicken up for a good reading. Q2 - how long would you leave it?

And q3, it seems impossible to get the dipstick out without smearing oil along  it!  Any tips? 

Finally, if the piece of bodywork that fits between the roof and the tailgate (containing mesh vent grilles) could be removed that would make for a much better access, both for dipstick, oil and whatever is on the other side of the engine.  Is this panel easy enough to remove?  It feels flexible and seems to have a few bolts. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance.

To take a reading yes it does matter if the car is on a slope so may I suggest take it to a flat carpark and wait 45 mins is plenty.

Remove the dip stick and wipe clean replace making sure it's fully home in its support tube remove again and take the reading/ level.

If its correct fine if it needs topping up add a small amount and allow 10mins to drain to the sump ,remember it's a lot easier to add a little at a time to get the correct level rather than rush and over fill.

Once correct return home and park on your slope and take another reading as above for reference later.

Hope this helps 

No need to remove the sail panel to pull the dipstick. It's flexible, so just pull upward and then flex it rearward towards the boot. 

Also, if you're having trouble reading the level, you can create a hash pattern on the dipstick itself by using a metal file and a vise (or mallet). You may end up sacrificing the file though, as they're quite brittle. 

How about parking one way on your drive and taking a reading then turning the car the other way around, wait a while, then take a reading that way. Then average out the readings.

Would that work?

FFS How do you people manage to get dressed by yourself of a morning?

Next time you have to put petrol in or go shopping, drive over to a quiet area  and pull the dipstick out, wipe it. Put it back in, pull it out again look at it.

Use a cloth that you have cleverly remembered to take with you, and if necessary put some oil in from the oil you have also remembered to take with you.

 

If you can't do this, please carefully consider whether you should be out on your own. 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for your replies chaps.  What I was trying to gauge was whether the dipstick fed into the centre of the sump especially given the extent to which it smears on extraction (because it flexes as it goes). This would give an idea for how much the reading is affected by a slope, or not.  Some cars are more so than others.

Hashing the dipstick sounds like a good idea to grab a bit of viscosity so will try that but otherwise will just keep persevering until I get some readings I’m happy with.