LOTUS
Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious (I can verify this one!!!)
MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
PORSCHE
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA
Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
VOLKSWAGEN
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
AUDI
Always Under Diagnostic Inspection
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
MASERATI
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke
KIA
Korean Industrial Accident
TVR
Towing Vehicle Required