Christmas Shopping

[Paul C]

Well, i thought i'd pop down the road just now to do get a couple

of things from 'The Burford Garden Company', they do christmas

hamper type things that i plan to get for mine and vicki's folks.

I dunno what it is with me sometimes...

I put on this jumper, i never wear them, everyone who knows me has seen me

strutting round our winter meets in a T-shirt, but as there was a 2 day old frost

over everything, i dug out this junper and put it on.

Got in the car, put seatbelt on, spent about a minute tugging at this jumper

cause it was touching my neck (which i hate, hence t-shirts), and i hated the

feeling of wool on my forearms (hence t-shirts). Shifting around in the seat of

Vicki's car i could not get comfortable, the wool of the jumper clinging to the

seat like a really, really annoying fuzzy felt. Angry on the drive, not a good start!

Five minute drive, parked easy. Walked into garden centre and it was reasonably

busy but not too bad, however it felt like the jumper was contracting, i could feel

the cuffs and the neckline was driving me insane with rage. Everyone seemed to

be stood inert wondering which way to head, while blocking the aisle.

I found the hampers anyhow, but at this stage i was too wound up to read the

contents or focus properly, i could not see colours anymore i swear. It felt like

someone had their hand at the back of the jumper twisting it to make it tight,

i hate close fitting clothes (hence the t-shirts). All i could make out was screaming

bored children, people talking too loud to old people, and the loud clattering of

cutlery from the nearby canteen. For a split second this was the worse place in the

world to be and i had to get out. On the way out i passed a couple either side of

the exit, tearing each others heads off in some trivial domestic argument.

So now i'm back home, only 15 minutes after leaving to go out!

have opened a bottle of stones ginger wine and am going to do

some shopping online. Jumper off to charity shop.

Anyone else feeling as festive as me?

HO, HO, HO

[doct93]

So, you'll be wanting a sweater for christmas then?

<ducks for cover>

Tim B

[Loose Cannon]

When you die, if you go to heaven you pass through a white light. Conversely, if you start passing through a garden centre then you know you are on the way to hell.

Don't know what it is about the places, the association with impending middle age, the memories of terminal boredom as a kid, but I find myself freaking out after a very short time, even without a prickly jumper!

[Guest teigan]

i prefer cardigans. you can wear a long sleeved shirt underneath, and the cardy doesn't contact skin. wool isn't my favourite, and it makes my skin red from irritation. i wear mostly cashmere which isn't as itchy, but i own a few of those norwegian sweaters that i can stand wearing no more than a few hours. it must be annoying as a sheep.

[th4neuk]

You should have just worn anextra t-shirt!!!! And isn't that fashionable at the moment??

LOL

Cheers

[Guest teigan]

he did have an extra t-shirt. but he wore it as the outside layer.

[mayevora]

Yes, I have to admit, i'm another visitor to the local garden centre today and whilst eyeing up a bargain in the hampster cage dept. my wife nudged me to point out an elderly gentleman in a "Starsky" wraparound cardigan, and asked if I was putting one on my Xmas list.

[WayneB]

Noticed all the Christmas stuff out in the stores 2 weeks ago

Playing all the christmas songs etc.

I am not a happy man whilst in the Mall.

Just like to run, in grab something that approximates what I am looking for, and get the hell out of there(after paying of course)

Can spend all day wandering around a good Auto Wrecking yard though B)

Edited November 21, 2005 by WayneB

[Guest teigan]

that's not wool. it's 100% recycled plastic.

[Evil_Dr_Fish]

HUMBUGGERY!!!

I'm an atheist so I have absolutely NO idea what you're all talking about!

(watch Erik The Viking!) (Terry Jones et al)

[WayneB]

Thanx Fish, Id forgot about Erik the Viking

Life of Brian more appropriate

P.S. see you in Hell

[Guest esprit geoff]

Ah Paul your a scream - you should be on tele!!!

Ah well there you go - the jumper was hampering you!!! (sick sick sick)

Geoff.

[lisalotus]

Lighten up guys, its christmas, a time of merriment and joy bla bla .

I know what you mean though its all so commercial these days, every body out shopping, killing themselves to get the latest must have "gadget".

My daughter is nagging me to put up decorations, had a quick rummage in the attic yesterday only to find that we have a bloody great 2ft long rat living in the attic, "O joy", Now I,m not keen on killing small animals, and I adore most things cute and cuddly and furry, but this sucker has got to go, so today I,m going in again armed with air pistol with the intention of shooting rat, not myself , the last time I used a gun, was with a twelve bore shot gun, my boss asked me to shoot a fox that had been worrying his chickens, I missed fox by a mile, but did manage to seriously damage an oak tree and dislocate my shoulder , so this could all go horribly wrong, I.ll be okay as long as it doesn,t look at me, I.ll have to close my eyes if it does

On that note I wish every one

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

[esprit350]

Christmas Day, super day no traffic on roads great time for driving if fine..

think Renu and I will be taking the cars out on the 25th...

happy hooning

[WayneB]

is no rat is hamsta

[abrussich]

For us heathen colonial types, what exactly is a Chrstmas hamper? Over here a hamper is what we throw soiled jumpers in.

[Evil_Dr_Fish]

Yes, that's one form of Hamper....

This is Fortnum's take on it!

[molemot]

Christmas day, a great day for driving....

Denis Jenkinson (he of Mille Miglia fame) once wanted to do a ROAD test on an F1 car; couldn't get one, but borrowed an F2 from Colin Chapman and set off! He reckoned that at lunchtime all the fuzz would be safely in the station with their turkey. Sadly it broke down fairly early on (a Lotus, after all) but it's a great tale.

As for gardening, PROPER gardens consist of oil stained concrete and scrubby grass. I keep a ride on mower (95th hand,

[USAndretti42]

My daughter is nagging me to put up decorations, had a quick rummage in the attic yesterday only to find that we have a bloody great 2ft long rat living in the attic, "O joy", Now I,m not keen on killing small animals, and I adore most things cute and cuddly and furry,  but this sucker has got to go,  so today I,m going in again armed with air pistol with the intention of shooting rat not myself

Can't you use your snake to catch the rat?

[lisalotus]

Can't you use your snake to catch the rat?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, it eats anything feathered but it wont eat anything furry, besides the fact that it might escape, which might just upset the neighbours or even maybe end up eating the neighbours, which actually come to think of it aint such a bad idea

[scoule]

Lots of birds living next door? ;-)

Sorry, been to the pub!

[Guest teigan]

.... maybe end up eating the neighbours, which actually come to think of it aint such a bad idea

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

great. now i've got the neighbours theme playing in my head. a giant snake would definitely improve the storylines.