Women/Mars, Men/Venus

[Tentenths]

Just received this... showed to Mission Control... she laughed too... so should be ok for a mixed audience

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside

[V8 Owners Fem Slave]

lol thanks made me laugh

[mayevora]

James.

Oh so true.

[WayneB]

James arent Women from Venus and Men from Mars?

Edited February 2, 2007 by WayneB

[punky]

I thought this summed it up quite well

[Esprit Aviation]

Ha! very funny! especially the equipment w/ all the dials!

[Tentenths]

James arent Women from Venus and Men from Mars?

Ah... well done that man for spotting my deliberate (yeah, right) error

Mind you, it matters not which planet they come from, I'll never understand women's logic Oddly enough, my wife says exactly the same thing about me :D

James