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LEF Jokes & Gags thread


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A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
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I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

 

The small print.

My comments and observations are my own, invariably "tongue in cheek", and definitely, sarcastic in nature. Therefore, do not take my advice, suggestions, observations or posts seriously or personally and remember if you do, do anything, that I may have suggested, then you have done this based solely on your own decision to do so and therefore you acknowledge responsibility and accountability (I know, in this modern world these are the hardest things for you to accept) for your actions and indemnify me of any influence, responsibility, accountability, or liability, in what you have done. In other words, you did it, so suffer the consequences on your own!

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