Foxes!!!!!

[Spinney]

Over the past 6 weeks or so I've become obsessed with foxes or to be more specific, stopping the buggers from turning our front garden into a pretty lifelike facsimile of how the Somme must have looked in 1918. We've experienced them before but never to quite the levels of destruction seen this year and, in the past, I've always managed to deter them using proprietary fox repellent granules. Not this year however! This time they laugh in the face of my efforts of sprinkling the granules all around my wife's treasured plants and continued to do a very good impression of Charles Bronson digging one of the tunnels in the film The Great Escape!!!

Righto, I thought, after re-levelling the flower beds for the 20th time, I need to get a bit creative here so went online and found many so called home remedies plus a few higher tech alternatives. Well I've always loved a gadget so after reading reviews of one of the more upmarket British made devices, I decided to go for it. It arrived a couple of days later and came with either battery or mains option via a transformer so, out of convenience, I opted to use the battery for starters. This device is supposed to emit a high frequency sound that foxes can't abide when they cross the beam, so scaring them off - apparently. I excitedly got the thing set up and confirmed it worked by the LED illuminating when I crossed the beam, which it did so even an impressive 5m away. Sorted I thought and looked forward to the following morning when our flower beds would obviously still be as pristine as I'd left them the previous evening.

The following morning I couldn't wait to get out to see the results of how clever I'd been but couldn't believe what I saw. The devastation was just as bad or maybe even worse than it had been all along - bollox!!! I then read the instructions for the device to discover a paragraph that said by using the mains/transformer option, the sound emitted would be several decibels louder to the fox and was the recommended option. Bugger, ah well that's obviously where I went wrong so got the mains connection set up and levelled up the beds yet again. Next morning, the only conclusion I could reach was that we were plagued by foxes that were very obviously stone bloody deaf since they had wreaked havoc yet again. Back to the drawing board!

After a bit more reading I discovered a devilish concoction you could make at home, consisting of sliced garlic and chillis boiled up in a saucepan of water. When cold, filter out the solids to be left with a brown liquid to which you add white vinegar, dilute with water 50:50 and spray all around the plants where the buggers dig. It smelled absolutely foul so I was reasonably confident it would work. Luckily, I'd had the foresight to boil up this foul smelling concoction on a camping stove outdoors so, apart from driving all wildlife away over a 50m radius, it at least didn't stink the house out. I used my garden sprayer to apply it and by the time I'd finished, the garden made even a sewage plant on a hot day, smell quite sweet. The next morning I excitedly rushed downstairs to discover it had bloody well poured down during the night and very obviously washed all the smell away. 

Next on the list to try was a bulk purchase of chilli flakes, the idea being you sprinkle them all around where the foxes dig and, I was assured, it would do the trick since foxes apparently hate capsaicin, the active ingredient in chilli. The next morning, hoo-bloody-ray, there were far fewer holes dug, but still they hadn't been scared away. For the next few following nights, I continued sprinkling the chilli flakes, more in hope than expectation. Well would you believe it, it seems we not only have deaf foxes but the buggers have now got to like chilli too!

Ok, well not defeated yet, I then decided to go to DEFCON 1 and deploy the full nuclear option of ordering a bulk buy of the hottest Cayenne pepper available, powdered this time, to hopefully get right up their noses. It arrived this morning, so before suiting up in full PPE with mask and latex gloves to scatter this weaponry, I obviously did the manly thing of sticking the tip of my little finger in the powder and dabbing it on my tongue. I stood there for a couple of seconds thinking, with some disappointment, bloody hell it isn't very hot but then..............................................what started out as a mild bit of heat, with the swiftness of a Jonny Wilkinson kick to the gonads, my mouth suddenly exploded into white heat. Christ on a bike the stuff is lethal!!!! I actually lost the power of speech for several minutes whilst my wife just stood there laughing like a bloody drain as I writhed around before running the cold tap in my mouth for several minutes.

I await the outcome tomorrow with considerable interest. I hope to hear the sound of foxes running down the road screaming in agony some time around 2am tomorrow morning! 

[Dan E]

 

Brilliant, made me chuckle 😂

The thing is I can hear them bloody fox things, my neighbour has one and it is hideous as I walk past, so at least its not a waste of money because if I am ever in Hampshire with a shovel & have a weird, must dig a hole moment, I will pick someone else's garden!! 

I can deal with the holes its the fact they shit everywhere that does my head in! To be fair our Maine Coon chases them off if you let him out 

[march]

We had the same problem with Moles. They just laughed in my face, massive mole hills, traps dug up, rude messages left, the garden was like a 1st world war battle field. I was banned from using this but I am sure it would have worked - should work on foxes too.

 

[Bibs]

We've noticed the foxes around here are a lot bolder this year. We're seeing a lot during the day and they seem to not be interested in running away when you spot them nearby. 

[Peapod]

They have been a nightmare this year pulling up plants and digging everywhere. Most of the damage has been done by cubs as they only want to play. I have loads of cones fall every year so I put them in front of plants and they now play with them rather than the plants.

Seems to have worked so far.

[Spinney]

I’m now thinking I’ll send our 2 Maine Coons out on patrol if the cayenne doesn’t work. 

[Dave Eds]

A sure way to deter foxes is erm......the piss of an adult male human.

Well known fact that is amongst allotment holders....

[andydclements]

@Dave Eds  You were supposed to tell him, that he has to be nimble in order to direct the stream onto the foxes.  

[Spinney]

Well that’s clearly where I’m going wrong, I can’t pee and run after them at the same time!😁

[Rambo]

8 hours ago, Dave Eds said:

A sure way to deter foxes is erm......the piss of an adult male human.

Well known fact that is amongst allotment holders....

But your piss usually contains too much beer Dave 😉 The foxes would get pissed rather than pissed off 🍺

[Kimbers]

I watched one get chased away by the Cockerill in the field behind my house the other day!

They are very opportunistic killers and don't think he liked being attacked.