Jobs you'd really like to do...

[Emmerg]

isn't anyone going to say Keira Knightley's underwear adjuster ? Very popular down the Job Centre so I hear.....

[stephenbirdsall]

I agree with Bibs about the bar tender job - I think that would be cool (plus my cousin owns a bar so I might ask her if I can try my hand some time!!)

Some other ones that I can think of...

Shop fitter (mainly the IT side of things)

Mechanic

Train driver (again, this might be do-able, I was discussing this with some folks at the Classic and Sports Car show that was held in Northampton last year)

Ice rink care taker (a mate of mine used to do this and got the opportunity to take his car on to the ice for some nice piccies on a number of occassions).

There are probably loads of others, but they'll do for now.

[Paul C]

Oil Boy for the National Bikini Tour.

Spotted! a bloke thats 100% sure his wife is not reading the forum! I envy you mate, if i knew Vicki would not be reading than the filth i could post!!!

isn't anyone going to say Keira Knightley's underwear adjuster ? Very popular down the Job Centre so I hear.....

She does nothing at all for me. Very straight down and like a rake. Like a young, bland and very pale and pasty uninteresting boy in a dress (if you like that kinda thing). In fact i have always figured (but accept i am 100% wrong based on your desire) that she was a kind of comfortable option for guys thats were a bit unsure with their sexuality, and maybe searching for a comfortable 'passport' towards being conventionally 'normal', or as near to that as they can be. And she's like a plank on screen, christ, it's only Andie MacDowell's performance in four weddings and a funeral thats stops knightley from being the most boring, wooden and undesirable woman to appear on the british screens. Have you seen Atonement? i've flushed away better experiences, the bland bint!

Keira Knightley: an instant cure for that embarrassing train journey stiffy.

[Emmerg]

Paul

Haven't laughed so much for ages. Note to self - don't sit next to Paul on any train journey

Guy

[Paul C]

Cheers Guy,

I'm not an unkind person, really, i'd like to say nicer things i really would. But when i look at a creature that resembles an emaciated boy, sucking his cheeks in while talking like a young Aled jones?

I've walked past cashpoints with pigeons eating the sick off them and become more aroused, almost to completion i might add.

[fmxa]

Battle Star Galactica viper pilot!

[MartinL]

Council snow plough driver in the Bahamas!

[ChrisH]

Archaeologist on the Somme Battlefields

[Emmerg]

Property Buyer for the National Trust - as Paul put me off the Keira Knightley underwear adjuster route I was taking earlier.....

[Paul C]

Stick to want you want to do mate, i'm just cursed with the 'think it say it' thing, wish i wasn't as it shows me for what i am.

Being 100% serious, in terms of a job/project/worthwhile way to soend my time, not a dream job, but if i did not have to earn a living one of the things i have been musing over for a while involves two sad situations that i believe when joined would make one good situation:

Situation 1:

When we visit the local cat sancturary there are always old cats that are there through no fault of their own, very often the owner might have died or become too old themselves to look after them or stay in their own home. These old cats seldom get homed as people don't want a 16 year old pet that might only have a couple of years left in it, younger cats and kittens get picked instead and these old cats (who just want to idle their remaining time under a hot radiator on on a lap) finish their days in the sancturary.

Situation 2:

The nature of my work means i have worked in most of the local old folks homes (installing fire alarm systems). We have all seen these common rooms with old folk all sat around a TV. Sometimes, but rarely the home might have a cat. The cat is always very popular, gets the fuss, gets a lap, and the residents love having it strolling about.

My idea:

To start some sort of scheme to get the many old and unwanted cats out of the sancturarys and into old peoples homes. These places are 24hr staffed so the feeding of a cat is hardly a chore, the sancturary will actually let you take pet insurance on cats that old when you take them and any exsisting medical issues like tablets are paid, it just needs some thought over the relativly small cost of food, insurance excess small vet bills etc. Maybe a 'drop a tin in for the cat' bin at the homes for visitors or residents would do it, or some form of sponsorship. It would take some setting up, a lot of visits to a lot of places, a lot of people to convince, but i think it has some posibility of being a good idea.

[cjtpb13]

...so this will sound funny to many of you except those that know me...

I would like to have a job ( for about a week ) where I come into the same office everyday and go home every night...no airports anywhere...and the same people seen daily...

Then within a week I will absolutely hate it and want to continue my normal job...

[mickdole]

Gyny doctor so ur always up to ur elbows in work

[lotusdogg]

I like the pool boy gig. Super fun and sun.

I wouldn't mind being a weatherman - get paid for being wrong most of time, can't beat that.

The job I would most like - Robert DeNiro's character from 'Wag the Dog'...making plans on the inside!

[Kimbers]

Owning a bar in Cyprus or somewhere hot and sunny.

if not then

Politics. I'd like to get the Car back on the agenda...sort of an Anti Green....and instead of talking a good battle actually doing something about what the everyday man is worried about. But that won't happen either cause I'm not PC enough.

So I'll settle for owning my own Car and bike dealer group.

[rogerch]

To be serious for a change, if I had all to do again, I would like to have been a cabinet maker, to produce a peice of craftsmanship with my own hands, would be something of great satisfaction.

[Bibs]

This topic is about jobs you'd like to do for a day, not a career.

A job I'd NOT like to do for a day is be Paul C's shrink!

[molemot]

Stick to want you want to do mate, i'm just cursed with the 'think it say it' thing, wish i wasn't as it shows me for what i am.

Being 100% serious, in terms of a job/project/worthwhile way to soend my time, not a dream job, but if i did not have to earn a living one of the things i have been musing over for a while involves two sad situations that i believe when joined would make one good situation:

Situation 1:

When we visit the local cat sancturary there are always old cats that are there through no fault of their own, very often the owner might have died or become too old themselves to look after them or stay in their own home. These old cats seldom get homed as people don't want a 16 year old pet that might only have a couple of years left in it, younger cats and kittens get picked instead and these old cats (who just want to idle their remaining time under a hot radiator on on a lap) finish their days in the sancturary.

Situation 2:

The nature of my work means i have worked in most of the local old folks homes (installing fire alarm systems). We have all seen these common rooms with old folk all sat around a TV. Sometimes, but rarely the home might have a cat. The cat is always very popular, gets the fuss, gets a lap, and the residents love having it strolling about.

My idea:

To start some sort of scheme to get the many old and unwanted cats out of the sancturarys and into old peoples homes. These places are 24hr staffed so the feeding of a cat is hardly a chore, the sancturary will actually let you take pet insurance on cats that old when you take them and any exsisting medical issues like tablets are paid, it just needs some thought over the relativly small cost of food, insurance excess small vet bills etc. Maybe a 'drop a tin in for the cat' bin at the homes for visitors or residents would do it, or some form of sponsorship. It would take some setting up, a lot of visits to a lot of places, a lot of people to convince, but i think it has some posibility of being a good idea.

It's a brilliant idea, mate...I've seen exactly the scenario you describe...when my Mum had to go into one of these homes, they had two cats and they fared very nicely. There ought to be an ideal ratio of residents per cat...it would get the old cats out of the misery of the cat pen and cheer up the residents too. How you could make any money out of it though, I can't imagine.

As for jobs one might like to do...I spent 3 years being paid to watch other people work!!

[Kimbers]

Ahhhh! Okies, for a day....and serious? That counts out me being Pamela Andersons Bra!

For a day? Fighter Jock in a Harrier. Always fascinated me how they hover and they look so cool with the bulbous cowlings. I know they aren't6 state of the art but they are very very cool!

[Iconic Ride]

Be Chancellor of the Antarian Planetary Zoomaster Office of the Exchequer, in charge of planet Earth's Evolutionary Direction Council, Atavistic Throwback and Future Mods Division.

(huh?)

[Kimbers]

You know, sometimes I really do hover over that Ban button! But then I always stay my hand because I don't want to upset, what can only be called a "deranged mind!"

[mangel]

Test driver.

Would only want to do it for a day as the travelling and hours are even more unsociable than my current job.

Mr C, you seem to be huge Bipolar with genius with moments of madness or is it madness with moments of genius!!

The Cats Idea is really good, my Great aunt is 99 this year and in a lovely care home where something like that could work but it would be down to the staff there. The one thing they may whinge about is trip hazard (gawd I hate those heatlth and safety muppets).

As for the vomit eating pidgeons and train journey interludes I suspect you may need some sort of help but its not a service I offer.

If any sort of underwear shuffler for a star was to be involved I'd say Billy Piper....don't know why but there is summit about her!!

[Paul C]

The Cats Idea is really good, my Great aunt is 99 this year and in a lovely care home where something like that could work but it would be down to the staff there. The one thing they may whinge about is trip hazard (gawd I hate those heatlth and safety muppets).

I agree mate, the health and safety thing is the most likely barrier (imagine if the cat clawed a vein too).

But as Bibs says, it a job for a day thread so i could just leave some tins on the doorstep, pop a cat in through the window and run away!

Kinda like a guerrilla cat installation.

[shawty_82]

I'd be a hitman, the world is never short of arseholes that need "erasing" or "convenient accidents"!! Perhaps I enjoy Hitman Blood Money too much lol