Why I Almost Smashed My iPhone 4S to Bits

[Moxie]

On my way to the PALS event at the Tilted Kilt on Saturday:

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ME: Text Kyle Kaulback

[interminable pause.]

SIRI: OK, I can send a text to Kyle Kaulback for you...what would you like it to say?

ME: Kyle, I'm going to be late. Stuck in traffic.

SIRI: OK, I updated your message to say "Call back." Ready to send it?

[insert profanity.]

ME: No!

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ME: Text Kyle Kaulback

[interminable pause.]

SIRI: OK, I can send a text to Kyle Kaulback for you...what would you like it to say?

ME: Kyle (comma), I'm stuck in traffic and will be late (period).

[interminable pause.]

SIRI: OK, I updated your message to say "Call back." Ready to send it?

ME: No, you f'n twit!

[insert extreme profanity.]

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ME: Text Kyle (figured leaving off the last name might work)

[interminable pause.]

SIRI: What do you want to say to Michael J. Kimberley?

[WTF?! Stay calm...breathe slowly. Abort. Try again.]

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ME: Text Kyle Kaleback (figured a different pronunciation might work)

[interminable pause.]

ME: Kyle (comma), I'm stuck in traffic and will be late (period).

[interminable pause.]

SIRI: OK, I updated your message to say "Call back." Ready to send it?

[insert profanity.]

CHET (my 5-year old son, in the back seat of the Evora): Dad, what the heck is going on anyway?

ME: Apparently nothing at all.

[Pull off the road and type the damn thing by hand.]

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Solution 1: Apple stop pretending Siri is anything but an alpha release.

Solution 2: Kyle changes his last name to "Lotusbarnstormer".

[robcarter]

Solution is teach your 5 year old to text!

Every iphone user has been there!

[Stirling_Villeneuve]

Although most 5 y.o's could teach an adult how to text, it's probably a skill they learn being walking, becoming house trained, etc.

Edited August 28, 2012 by Stirling_Villeneuve

[ramjet]

Sorry Matt, but that's pretty damn funny actually.

[Bibs]

Siri is shit. The voice recognition on my Nexus 7 is much better, but there's very little it does in terms of usefulness.

[Mysterae]

Spare a thought for us Scots... (NSFW)

I even struggle with this guy!

Edited August 28, 2012 by Mysterae

[LotusX180R]

That kind of thing happens a lot at work

[Moxie]

Sorry Matt, but that's pretty damn funny actually.

True. I have to admit that I did laugh when it interpreted Kyle as MJK. But Bibs is right--Siri sucks.