LEF Jokes & Gags thread

[Kimbers]

[Redwing]

On 09/01/2024 at 09:38, Kimbers said:

That reminded me of listening to that awful Radio 4 programme, the Round Britain Quiz, many years ago.  It was, and probably still is, contested by poncy people who are right up their own arses.  When one team was asked to name the evil bodyguard in the Bond film Goldfinger, a woman who was, no doubt, a pillar of her local community,   blurted out "Blowjob".

[exeterjeep]

[pete]

[RobinB5]

The absolutely brilliant Dermot Morgan as an audience member on a chat show: https://www.rte.ie/archives/2018/1218/1017840-german-dermot-morgan/

[pete]

father ted

[C8RKH]

Lovely humour.

 

[Escape]

How can she cook him breakfast when she took him to a hotel?

[C8RKH]

It was one of those "aparthotels" that has a mini kitchen.

[Rambo]

2 hours ago, Escape said:

How can she cook him breakfast when she took him to a hotel?

Because it's Tik Tok shite. Nothing is real on Tik Tok.

[C8RKH]

2 hours ago, Rambo said:

Because it's Tik Tok shite. Nothing is real on Tik Tok.

Think you'll find Jethro came before any form of social media, including Tik Tok.

Dudes, it was a fooking joke and you need to calm down a bit for the sake of the old ticker!

[C8RKH]

 

[pete]

[Bibs]

[exeterjeep]

 

[calvan]

As I rapidly approach my 70th birthday I realise how important it is for we older fellows to build and maintain our self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. So I bought a bumper sticker that reads "Honk if you think I'm sexy".

Now it only takes 7 or 8 seconds at a green light to feel much better about myself.

[pete]

[exeterjeep]

[exeterjeep]

Clocks change ...from FB..

[C8RKH]

[Escape]

Seems a shame to use her just for the dishes.

 

 

 

I'm sure she can wash the car too!😁

[Escape]

[C8RKH]

A Farmer in Devon see's a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts,

"Wozzon! Ee dun wanna be drinkin dat, 
it's full of horse piss an cow dung". 

The bloke says "I'm from london and just purchased a property in the village can you speak bit slower please". 

The Farmer replies "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any"!!!!!

[pete]

[pete]