What made you happy today?

[johnpwalsh]

Well today it became official, I have been promoted to Operations Co-Ordinator for Kazakhstan,  I have worked my nuts off for the past 18 months on this multi billion pound disaster project ( look it up on google, biggest cock up never designed, Kashagan Project ) and it has at last paid off for me, either that or they are looking for a new scapegoat. Its been a long hard slog and loads of work but I must admit I am pretty proud of myself, local boy makes good and all that crap, but it shows what Can be done. I have no high flying education, only bog standard Scottish primary then secondary schooling, never attempted "O" levels or highers, no school leaving certificate, I think they were just glad to get rid of me. Whats got me here is pure bloody mindedness and a belief that I could do it and a wife at home who was willing to listen to some twat calling me at 5 am every other morning wile I should have been on time off and for putting up with me sitting on the balcony while on holiday answering some stupid email, again at some silly time of morning or late at night. Thanks Wendy, big celebration when I get home.

[molemot]

Well done!! Shows that one can still achieve by simply getting stuck in.....

[cbclotus]

Nice one John .Good for you ....Mike

[mayevora]

Afternoon at Raceworld in karts and winning the 20 lap finale - who says the fat boys can't keep up lol.

[johnpwalsh]

Mmm, second bit of news this trip. Found out today my offshore medical expires three days before I am due off in January so had to go cap in hand to the project management and say sorry there has been a slip up in admin. Oh he says well thats not allowed, no one can stay on here without a current medical he says so you will just have to get yourself booked on a chopper a couple of days early and get it done then, and it's not worth coming back for two days is it. Sorry I say, yes I will go do that now. Must admit I had to get out of his office smartish before he saw the smile on my face. Result.

[dodgy]

Loty passed the MOT after being 2 months overdue

Something not quite right though :- Co = 0.25% and Hc = 512 , co gone down and hc up since the last mot 510 miles ago

[Bibs]

Old fuel?

[dodgy]

No idea bud, usually I get a misfire if it's old fuel but she's running sweet, probably had the probe up the turbo exhaust and it only does a tic over test? Not doing enough mileage in her to justify keeping her now ,2000 in 3 years!

[Bibs]

Drive more, get yourself to a few events

[johnpwalsh]

Some little scammer tried one on today. Edited version.

 

JEWEL MECHANIC LIMITED

WILLOWBRAE MORTIMER LANE

MORTIMER BERKSHIRE

RG7 3PP, LONDON UK.

Company No. 07862021

http://www.bizdb.co.uk/company/jewel-mechanic-limited-07862021/

phone: +447024072239

Fax:   +44871 314 1455

 

 

Hello,

 

How are you together with your family members? I think all is well. Despite the fact that I did not know you in person or have i seen you  before but due to the reliable revelation, I decided do this business with you, I have no other choice.

 

First, I have to introduce myself to you. I am Mr. Paul Steve, the Sales manager of JEWEL MECHANIC LIMITED. The company has been recognized for manufacturing high quality Golden and Silver Earrings, Pendants and Necklace style Rings Jewelries by name SOLID MIXTURE.

 

As a specialist jewelry manufacturing company, we needs raw material by name diamond mixture which we used for the manufacturing of our  company products we buy a gram of SOLID MIXTURE $780 from dealers in London, recently I discovered a supplier in Dubai that offered me a gram $350 and quality is the same, I offered my company $500 per gram and they are very happy to buy 5kg which is 5000grams. My personal profit in 5kg is $700.000.00 (Seven hundred thousand US Dollars). I am contacting you because my manager will be traveling to UAE for the purchase in few  days time.

 

Now I want you to act as the middle marketer between the main Dealers in UAE of this product and our company here in London in the sense that you will buy this product from the main dealer at the rate of US$350 per gram and sell to our company at the rate of US$500/per grams, after I might have introduced you to our company as the main dealer, and also given you the main dealer's contact in UAE for you to contact him to know the availability of the product in their stock.

 

You will meet our purchasing manager on arrival to Dubai, he will give you a call on his arrival to Dubai to inform you that they have arrived then you will go to their hotel and show him the materials to convince him you are the dealer, after that you will go and purchase the rest from the main  dealer, bring the product to his hotel and collect cash from him, finish. You extract our profit and take your money back to where you bring it. It’s a day transaction.

 

My Company is presently running out of stock of this product. If you are interested and promise your honesty in this business please do get in touch with me so that we can reach into an agreement on how to share this $700.000.00 (Seven hundred thousand US Dollars) profit. I only  want you to assure me that you will be honest with me, and also keep this business secret between both of us, so that our company will not realize that I connived with you to inflate the price of the product for my own interest because if they do, as I say, I will loss my job and also my career will be jeopardized.

 

I will tell you more things about this business if you are interested to do the business and I will also guide you to the success of it. Do get back to me with Your Name, Telephone number and Country of Origin.

 

Please Do contact me at paulsteve82@yahoo.co.uk

 

Awaiting your reply.

Mr. Paul Steve

Sales Manager

+447024072239

paulsteve82@yahoo.co.uk

 

And my reply.

Hi Paul, thank you for your very interesting offer especially at this time near Christmas when we spend so much on festive goods this deal would have been very good. My problem is I have just spent so much of my available cash on gifts for my wife and her extended family that I have little left for this transaction. I did think that if you have been making this kind of money for some time then you could lend me the money up front at a sensible interest rate, I could then go buy the goods, we make profit and you get a little bit extra as repayment interest. Do you think this may work for you. As I said I have had a lot of expense this month with having to spend money on my daughters dowry, well Camels do not come cheap now, in fact single hump Camels are very expensive and becoming very scarce, also due to it being the festive season and the Christians having a monopoly on Donkeys, they have indeed now doubled in price, so I was unable to purchase any and had to buy double the amount of goats instead, again everyone is in the same situation so once more I had to pay a high price for the goats, this of course means that lots of people are now purchasing goats which has also pushed up the price of feed for the goats and doubled the price on a Nanny goat, this is understandable as when you think about it a Nanny goat must be worth more as it can produce milk and of course you can breed from it so it has dual purpose, milk and young, oh and just had another thought since all you people are very similar to some people of other nations who are more commonly known as sheep shaggers and I can only assume you have very few sheep in your part of the world, you and your tribe are maybe goat shaggers, if this is the case then the Nanny goats are worth three times the price of Billy goats because they produce milk which you can sell, they produce young which again you can breed from or sell and last but not least they can keep all you goat shaggers happy as well. As a last thought, if you can lend me some money I can go to another country and purchase a load of Billy and Nanny goats, bring them to your country and breed and sell them then I would have no reason to be put in goal for cheating your company, I could make money off all the goats milk and then you and yours could go and get fercked.
Thank you for your kind offer but as you can see by my explanation above, my wife maybe has done me a favor by having so many female children as without them I would not have had this wonderful opportunity to make so much money while some other thieving goat shagger gets fercked.

And on a last note I have forwarded your email to your employers so you are now well and truly shagged.

 

 

[Wilf]

In those scams there is no product, no company, no person of that name. It is all about trying to come up with a plausible back story and then relies on the greed of the person they will defraud to contact them. This will have been spammed to thousands of inboxes and some poor sod statistically will fall for it.

[Bibs]

Tesco screwed up and charged us double at the checkout for our turkey. Their organic turkeys are down from £60 to £30 but they charged us £60. Under their policy, you get double the error back so we just got a £60 turkey for nowt!! 

[rogerch]

60 quid for a turkey! that's extortion.

[Bibs]

You're not wrong! It's a lot of money for a dead bird.

[Kalli]

Still think the bird got the worst deal to be honest...

[temple]

My Daughter giving birth to my second Grandchild this afternoon at 1 34pm  

[comem47]

 

[Andy Esprit SE]

Quote of the day: cars have bumpers just like pencils have rubbers because occasionally things go wrong..

This was after a customer complained about a problem on a new motor, after i sympathised a coleague said this and it cheered me up

[johnpwalsh]

Still think the bird got the worst deal to be honest.

 

.

Yep and at the end of the day its going to get well and truly stuffed and probably get a roasting for being so expensive.

[Guest Mutley00]

Chap across the road pulled up in an i8. I temporarily forgot I'm awaiting a new knee and 'sprint limped' across the road to blag a ride. It would have been rude not to!  Absolutely jaw dropping, it even cornered nearly as good as an Elise albeit a tad quieter.

[Kalli]

Given the info provided today, I've fitted my first ever private plate to the Evora. Granted it doesnt say Lotus exactly, but its a damn sight better than a generic plate

 

V9TUS, with a little footer at the bottom with 'Made In England'.

 

Mwha. It's the simple things eh.

[Mark Blanchard]

Took the Esprit out for a winters blast.  A really good drive, the car felt great, perfect dry country roads and the sun setting.  Made my day .

[molemot]

Idly glancing at the "General Chat" index, I see that we have 21 pages of people being unhappy...but 89 pages of being happy!!! One has to presume that being a Lotus type gives one more than 4 times the likelihood of being happy than sad!! Roll on spring.....

[johnpwalsh]

Well at last, got on the flight list for the choppers to get off Devils Island, then the saga starts. On the list for 8th rotation, shit, 99% chance of being cancelled. Flight 1 gets in and lands on deck, the we go to blackout, no power but they complete the changeover and she goes, but for us that means all other flights on hold untill power restored. fu++ I thinks that could be all day, the I find flights 2,4, and 6 are going to the outlying locations so phone Mrs W and say dont expect me home before Sunday, 3 days late. Joy, power back on and flights moving again. Third rotation on its way and again blackout, fu++, fu++. Ah well that's it for me. Then we get a call the island is being down maned to one of the boats, fu++, fu++, fu++, and fu++. The big man must have been looking down and said we better do something, power back on and 5th roatation on the way. Who the hell plans these things, chopper comes out full and goes in with only 5 pax, thats bloody crazy when all these guys are qued up to get home, 6th rotation gone A wall due to technical fault. Now the happy bit. 6 hurs late I get a call my flights departed Atyrau, get your arse to helli checkin now. Am gone, no second warning required. Boarded 7 hrs late but on dry land and heading home, whoooope, even survived the worst landing I have ever experienced in my life coming into Schiphol and made it to Murphy's bar. Now here's a funny bit, order first drink and the barmaid in a Dutch bar, in a Dutch airport is a Glaswegian, and she tells me she accepts Scottish notes, wow. Three large ones later and I am bound for ABZ.

Home safe, proper coffee mauled by the dog, a quick cuddel from the Mrs, well it's been 5 weeks so would be quick wouldnt it, snore on the sofa.

 

 

But man it sure made me.

 

Happy Today.

[Bibs]