What made you UNHAPPY today!

[Barrykearley]

Who ate all the pies 

[Mark Blanchard]

I'm not a salad dodger you know, though I don't like salad.

[C8RKH]

My waistline has grown considerably bigger, to the point that I can't seen my feet properly and my trousers are to tight.  I'm thinking I need to stop drinking beer .

Lol - same problem here. Stopped drinking beer and started drinking wine, gin, whiskey, vodka and shots - just leave out the mixers, that's where all the calories are.

Still a fat bastard, but hey, any night of the week I choose can feel like a night out at the Hacienda in Madchester in the '80's.

I get a Big Mac meal for lunch. Wife asks what I had for lunch. I say a beef salad sandwich (well, the big mac has lettuce, onions, gherkins and many people have potatoes with their salad) and she thinks I'm trying. Well, she actually says I am very trying....    

[Bibs]

 

[Mark Blanchard]

Slipped a disc last night.  4am this morning was on the floor in agony and couldn't move. 2 ambulances arrived with paramedics to help get me up and moving again.  Now on codeine and off to the hospital later.  Don't think my big belly is good for my back either.

[C8RKH]

Strap a scaffold plank to your back -head to toe lengthways. Lie on your belly, and there you go, an instant see-saw for the kids! Big bellies can be made to work 

On a serious note, sounds very painful and hope all is well soon. I remember my father crushing a couple of discs in his back at work years ago - it was not a trifling affliction and can sympathise with your pain as a result.

[tinywillyuk]

Discs are nasty.. I've herniated two, one at L5-S1 and more seriously at C5-C6.  A microdiscectomy was done on L5-S1 only for me to herniate it again with no treatment left.  Just pain... and C5-C6 will result in a fusion early next year.    So sincerely hope your disc returns to its correct position but if it doesn't don't put off getting it treated.

[Mark Blanchard]

Thanks for your comments.  They said it's the lower back where it meets the sacrum.  Just out of A&E now.  What a crap day!

[Barrykearley]

Oh no - don't be shy - grab the biggest, tripyest super arse kick pain killers they will give out

[Bibs]

And a couple of bottles of red. Sorry to hear mate, hope you get well soon

[Mark Blanchard]

Cheers chaps :).

[tinywillyuk]

Thats L5-S1 matey... I know it well... (the S1 bit being the sacrum).   My big problem and one for you to watch for is that once your back is irritated, the muscles around the rear of your trunk, across the full width of your back tend to guard the damage and lock tight  -which is what hurts  - and in my case are so tightly spasmed are actually dislocating my sacroiliac joints,  In effect it pulls my leg out of true by up to 1cm and it bloody hurts...  Makes you walk funny too.

[march]

Just sold half of our breeding herd of pedigree Dexter cattle (Carina was in tears when they went). Unfortunately prices are so low for meat / livestock it is hardly worth bothering and what is worse are the lying b#r5&%ds that try to screw you over when trying to sell them. Fortunately this batch have gone off to a good home near Bristol as a starter herd for people who really seem to care.

[Mark Blanchard]

Thats L5-S1 matey... I know it well... (the S1 bit being the sacrum).   My big problem and one for you to watch for is that once your back is irritated, the muscles around the rear of your trunk, across the full width of your back tend to guard the damage and lock tight  -which is what hurts

That's useful information, thank you. The pain is something else, like being stabbed in the back and at the moment it's continual.  I broke my third metatarsal some years ago and I thought that was bad, it was nothing in comparison.  Just hope it gets better soon because I want to get back in my Esprit.

[Barrykearley]

Just sold half of our breeding herd of pedigree Dexter cattle (Carina was in tears when they went). Unfortunately prices are so low for meat / livestock it is hardly worth bothering and what is worse are the lying b#r5&%ds that try to screw you over when trying to sell them. Fortunately this batch have gone off to a good home near Bristol as a starter herd for people who really seem to care.

notice the cost of a bloody steak in the shops is still sky high

weve got Jacob sheep - I'd be better off feeding them to the dogs

[molemot]

Not been too happy a few days. The cursed prostate has been causing problems... had a fkexible cystoscopy a couple of days ago. Nothing horrible found... but it feels like one is pissing razorblades. Not much fun ... now I'm lurking in darkest Somerset....Wellington, to be precise... for the wedding of my niece tomorrow. I made the crass error of thinking that... just because things have been fine so far, apart from the toecurling pain when I urinate...that I would be be fine to eat at the restaurant in the pub next door.

And I was....

 

Almost.

I had, I will happily admit, had a few. But not at all beyond bounds.... sadly, walking back to the hotel, I realised that I wasn't going to make it. A combination of advanced prostate cancer and the resulting radiation and hormone treatment does tend to do this. In retrospect, I should have gone to the loo in the restaurant......but I didn't. And I failed to make it to the sanctuary of the hotel lobby. So I had one choice... I could stand there with the urine running down my legs, or rapidly doff the trousers and perform, trying to conceal what I  was doing as much as possible. I chose the latter course....considering the state of my apparatus after the radiation treatment, It's hard to think of what there could be visible to complain of!!!

 

But, of course, there was.....Some other guest felt that I had contravened her and her children's expectations. So the Hotel Manager arrived to throw me out......happy days. Fortunately, once I had explained the situation and volunteered to explain and apologise to the complainant, things sorted themselves out.... otherwise I would be writing this from the gutter...

 

Whatever... I still have 6 bottles of Lanson and a sample case of three 20cl bottles of magnificent artisnal cognac for the morrow.... onward and upward....

 

It being the 600th anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt...

" Gentlemen in England, yet abed, with think themselves accursed, and hold ther manhood cheap, when any speaks who drank with us upon St. Crispin's Day....."

[Bibs]

[Kalli]

Finding out some brats were hanging off my Evora GT wing in the office car park, having now damaged the paint having only been resprayed 3 weeks ago, and unknown damage to the mountings. Their dad parked there (an employee of the company) over halfterm to avoid paying a public car park £2. It'll now cost him much more than that once i'm through with him.

Edited October 28, 2015 by Kalli

[Bibs]

Ouch!  

[theelanman]

ouch indeed

[DaveC72]

That blows.  And not in the good way

[slewthy]

What made me unhappy yesterday was our visit to the local safari park.

We took the scenic route through the monkey enclosure.....

 

Anyway, turns out the baboons have worked out how you wash your windscreen - They chew and pull out the washer jets until you give them a drink - antifreeze or not. 2 buggered jets.

At least it was the wife's S-max. At least that made me happier.

[Barrykearley]

Got told off on our last visit to the monkey enclosure...... I may have passed a couple of toilet rolls out the window.

its amazing how quick them monkeys can decorate trees with bog roll. Why Andrex  use puppy dogs I just don't know

[Kimbers]

Just seen a picture of my old S4 which looked amazing when I sold it, on top of a pile of scrapped cars. Very very sad now.

[slewthy]

I was very very sorry when I saw that.

If it had rusted away through age and use , you could accept it but when binned by the insurance and then dismembered by likes of DV, its almost criminal.