If there are no children involved and amicable like you say it should be reasonably straight forward - you do have choices as to what you 'go for' when it comes to seeking income from the others pension pot.
Unfortunately when I divorced, I couldn't afford a solicitor myself, and there were children involved, so suffice to say the split went 70 / 30 and my child maintenance is a monthly astronomical amount on top of that. We were reasonably amicable but it was clear she went for what she was 'entitled' to from the advice she received, however did stop short on the pension.
I'm glad the laws have changed around the accountability, as I got stitched up there as well!
@Barrykearley - I hope everything gets sorted as soon as possible for you. It's a stressful and unsettling thing to go through especially with how difficult your ex is being. Echoing above comments - stay calm and strong and follow the legal advice.