LEF Jokes & Gags thread

[Bibs]

[pete]

 

 

[Escape]

Oooh, that's all to familiar! We often hear our dog during his 'morning clean' before he jumps on the bed to waken us up...😝

[yeller77]

Yup. The old joke about why does a dog lick himself?

 

 

 

 

Because he can...

[calvan]

39 minutes ago, yeller77 said:

Yup. The old joke about why does a dog lick himself?

 

 

 

 

Because he can...

The mods might consider moving this to the "Fuel Prices" thread. It often seems to be the main reason why the oil companies jack up fuel prices. DBE 101 - Dog Balls Economics

[Redwing]

A man is out walking in the countryside and comes across a very welcoming looking pub.  He goes in, orders a pint, and then notices a Labrador in front of the fire washing himself.  Man turns to the barman and says "look at at that eh?  Lying in front of a roaring fire and licking your balls.  Wish I could do that."

Barman says "give him a biscuit, Sir, and I'm sure he'd let you."

 

[PaulCP]

[pete]

This ticked me

[jonwat]

[pete]

[pete]

How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat.              When her clothes fit your wife.

[pete]

 

 

[mayevora]

[thebartman]

One "For the Drivers"

 

Car Test

[darkSol]

^ That's an MP4 video btw - just rename with an .MP4 extension.

[exeterjeep]

[Escape]

The sad part is, if the car wont start because of a glitch in the alarm system, it might actually work to get out, lock and unlock and try again...

[exeterjeep]

[mayevora]

Wife caught me looking at pawn again.

[exeterjeep]

39 minutes ago, mayevora said:

Wife caught me looking at pawn again.   (;porn!!!!)

..Devon county councillor and friend of Neil Parish, Colin Slade, has said he can see how searching for tractors on the internet could lead to a porn site.

It comes after the disgraced MP made claims about how he came to be watching adult content in the House of Commons...

I tried did not find any..... except..... after a bit of cropping....

[Escape]

We need to see the full picture! That's an 8120 right?

[pete]

 

 

[pete]

 

 

[Alfa2Evora]

[Escape]

Many moons ago we were having a boys' night at a mate's (I think the excuse was playing board games, I definitely remember there being beer) when we heard a noise upstairs. One of us had the balls (guts?) to ask the host if that was his wife coming home and parking her broom. He was laughing too hard to get mad. True story! 🤣