Divorce laws

[Barrykearley]

All set to change in April 2022. They seem to have broken life down into sections to allow simplicity and fairness. I do wonder if some of this comes from the campaigns by the likes of Fathers for Justice etc.
 

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, which will allow married couples to divorce without assigning blame, will come into force on 6th April 2022. The Act provides for the biggest reform of divorce law in fifty years and aims to reduce conflict between couples legally ending a marriage or civil partnership.

[pete]

Tempted?

[Rambo]

Might come in handy for when Clive's (Cdm2018)  new wife finds out how much he paid for those Evora side intake scoops 😄

[Barrykearley]

Solicitor instructed earlier in the week - papers should be out Tomorrow. 
 

Them 20 weeks can’t go fast enough.

[Cdm2018]

On 24/02/2022 at 13:15, Rambo said:

Might come in handy for when Clive's (Cdm2018)  new wife finds out how much he paid for those Evora side intake scoops 😄

She knows NOT ! Didn’t even notice and she been in car twice since had them fitted ! Ignorance is bliss I guess 

as for this new blameless divorce would had saved me loads of hassle especially last ex wife who claimed a load of blames on my good person even my local Vicar was fuming when he saw it ! 

[Barrykearley]

3 minutes ago, Cdm2018 said:

She knows NOT ! Didn’t even notice and she been in car twice since had them fitted ! Ignorance is bliss I guess

Maybe she simply doesn’t care as it keeps you happy.

3 minutes ago, Cdm2018 said:

as for this new blameless divorce would had saved me loads of hassle especially last ex wife who claimed a load of blames on my good person even my local Vicar was fuming when he saw it ! 

I absolutely know mine would not in anyway wish to consent - and make it almost impossible. The laws now completely changed and there’s no choice in the matter - just a case of carving the lot up and moving on.

[C8RKH]

11 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

bsolutely know mine would not in anyway wish to consent - and make it almost impossible. The laws now completely changed and there’s no choice in the matter - just a case of carving the lot up and moving on.

It does seem to be a much better approach as let's face it someone who was abusive/controlling to their partner was never likely to agree to a divorce.

A hangover from previous times used to keep women (mostly)in check and protect feckless controlling men (mostly) from losing their wife.  Glad the law has finally realised we've moved from the 17th/18th century.

[andydclements]

It does seem strange that to enter a contract/arrangement is relatively easy but to exit where both parties wish to do so, it has many barriers. So I'm glad it's changing.

[Kimbers]

27 years. 27! I think murdering someone would have had a lesser sentence.

And more sex!

[Barrykearley]

6 hours ago, C8RKH said:

A hangover from previous times used to keep women (mostly)in check and protect feckless controlling men (mostly) from losing their wife.  Glad the law has finally realised we've moved from the 17th/18th century.

Let’s just say I’m stunned how common this actually is. I never knew and tolerated it for so long. 
ps - online dating is ace by the way - it is incredible the folks you meet 🤪

[C8RKH]

On 08/04/2022 at 12:14, Kimbers said:

27 years. 27! I think murdering someone would have had a lesser sentence.

And more sex!

Just think how you would feel being married to you for 27 years. Then good luck sleeping! 😜

[ChrisJ]

3 hours ago, C8RKH said:

Just think how you would feel being married to you. Then good luck sleeping! 😜

FTFY

[Barrykearley]

Yeah ok - I think I may have underestimated this whole process.

so far we’ve had some of my stuff burnt, some sold on Facebook market, a bank account being misappropriated and money being hidden, spending money like water out of most of my other accounts, kids (only 2 of them since she’s not allowed near the 3rd) being pressured by her massively. Thankfully the two live with me and the eldest is now getting a flat at uni so she doesn’t want to be at home with mum. I can’t even access my online xero account to do my vat return or invoice any work since she’s refusing to give me access as it was set up in her email address.
 

it’s is indeed a 20 week initial process followed by 6 after that some 26 weeks in total. I never expected anything to be as bad as this. The solicitor is being firm and telling me to record everything and sit back with a smile.

work has almost ground to a halt as I’m the primary carer for the kids - yes they are older - but my work normally means periods of working away onsite in the caravan and long 12-14 hour days. Something I can no longer do.

I’ve actually never felt so completely out of control of things - but so in control of the important stuff.

on the plus side - the kids, dogs and the cars are safe with me.

[C8RKH]

@Barrykearleysorry to hear this bud. I would say stay calm and follow your solicitors advice as he has probably seen this many times before and knows, unlike your wife, that once her "behaviour" is brought to light formally, in the right forum and context, she will have seriously damaged her case and her future. What she is hiding/spending now will come off her settlement for sure.

Keep strong bud, if only for the kids, they'll thank you for that and the bond will be forever and will keep you in a good state till the end of days...

[Cdm2018]

As Andy mentioned 

I endured a different experiences with two previous ex wife’s I am a sucker for punishment !

follow the advice from legal counsel and maintain the daily record keeping it’s a pain but required as the courts tend to still look to the male person having to prove their worth to a higher degree ? 

[Barrykearley]

Thanks chaps. 
The full detailed social services report is due to me next week. In this it documents fully the risk assessments and direct evidence the social workers have themselves witnessed. They won’t accept nor support any legal case by her to access the kids and that is also documented.

Her solicitors will absolutely love that as will mine.

[Barrykearley]

Well so far it’s going really well 🙄

She has managed to burn her way through £18k in excess spending - all from my (joint) accounts.

keep it up sweetpea - it’s all coming out of the bottom line in the end - and along this road you are indeed looking even more unreasonable to the one child that takes a small amount of time to visit you.

 

[Kimbers]

Jesus mate. 

If anything ever did happen between me and the Mrs I'm pleased to say we both only have access to the Joint account that pays all the bills. Everything else is kept seperate. I have my spending money and she hers. But then her disposable income is around the same as mine (I pay all the bills out of mine). 

[Barrykearley]

@Kimbers it really matters not to me. It’s only going to become a problem for her as she spins more and more out of control. 
 

never ever again.

[Frickin_idiot]

9 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

Well so far it’s going really well 🙄

She has managed to burn her way through £18k in excess spending - all from my (joint) accounts.

keep it up sweetpea - it’s all coming out of the bottom line in the end - and along this road you are indeed looking even more unreasonable to the one child that takes a small amount of time to visit you.

 

I am not sure where you stand with this but the moment I split from my ex-wife I immediately used the current account to pay off any "debts" leaving the account to all intents and purposes empty, swiftly followed by not putting a single further penny into the account and ensuring that no debt facilities were available. The gravy train ended.

[Barrykearley]

The issue @Frickin_idiot is I’ve no debts and a significant cash pile in a joint account.

advice is just to let her carry on. She will loose out and her behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic spending wise. It’s all being logged and the children are with me. So she no longer requires a family home.

legally I think she is in a very weak position indeed. Frankly this 26 weeks can’t go fast enough.

[Frickin_idiot]

I’m afraid that I have little faith in the British Legal system. Hope that it works out for you.

[Barrykearley]

Yeah ok - I lost my rag this week and emptied the accounts - after she had run up some £25k of excess spending.

funny thing that did indeed prompt engagement and I’ve had to return a significant portion. 

 

it’s going to get very very messy now - thankfully this will have forced the need for mediation. 
 

The social services report I now have in my possession will reduce most grown men to tears. My lad took that to the farm and read it to her yesterday after she threatened him with taking out a restraining order on me. It’s a fucking mess.

Theres a firm line drawn now - and she will see even less of the people she has abused over the years going forwards.
 

 

[C8RKH]

Stay strong bud. And make sure you look after yourself for the kids.  

[Barrykearley]

Thanks @C8RKH

I now have the sign in details for my Xero account for business which she changed after the papers were served. I’ve not been able to do my vat return and that’s late - I’ve had to simply pay the vat man a pile to ensure no action against me. The data within the account is frozen though as I had raised a legal dispute with Xero to stop any malicious damage. Fingers crossed I may be able to get that released today - as I cannot see any data at all.
Danny took her iPad and logged in yesterday and changed the password while he was up there. Again he was told she was the victim and I was the abuser. The report and the majority of Danny’s life shows that to be the other way round 😖 - she wouldn’t respond to him about his questions on if she’s ever drunk driven with him in the car. Last weeks spending from the bank indeed showed transactions late at night from petrol stations (off licenses) - she doesn’t normally drive at night. The drinking is without doubt ongoing 😩

 

on a positive note - xero will be sorted, kids are happy here, lines been drawn and I don’t think he will see her now until after his exams. I’ve funds in my sole name to ensure they can all be fully provided for while this 6 months kicks down the road.