Divorce laws

[Kimbers]

You have dainty little feet there @Barrykearley

[Barrykearley]

They’re Danny’s - he’s curling his feet up after a day of slavery 🤪

[Barrykearley]

Still ongoing - still getting more ridiculous by the week.

Utter failure to supply insurance documents, failure to allow access to possessions and now the solicitors only response is we cannot respond until our clients loan is approved.

[Barrykearley]

So the end of 2023 and still in limbo.

The barn has been valued and I can have that out of the wreckage once everything else is sold. My toolbox that vanished in September 2023 the police still haven’t attended over. However on 22/12/23 it was apparent the roller shutter door at the farm was stuck fully open, it does that, and the two post lift has gone - yes it was anchor bolted to the floor in a dozen places and would have taken a lot of effort and time to remove. No doubt sold for alcohol. Police report again and as yet still no attendance.

solicitors no contact due to not being paid, estate agents being cancelled by her so I had no alternative but to send a final notice by recorded mail. Yup they tried a few times to serve that but no answer. Me and Danny videod the trip of serving the letter on the property on 22/12/23. 

on 27/12/23 police rung me to say their van has broken down but they were on their way to arrest and question me for stalking !! And that I had to attend the police station on 28/12/23. Now I’ve had to report a fair few times some really bad incidents all of which fit the profile of stalking to a tee. Not once have they questioned her not once. This was a malicious report and I provided police with all the video and evidence required via email. 28/12/23 one hour before the interview I get a call to say it’s been cancelled as it’s clear there is no case to answer.

the discrimination as a bloke Is disgusting - it’s blatant and all I got was apologies from the officer dealing.

Still they have not visited regarding the “theft” of items valued over £20k

[C8RKH]

I'd be writing to the Police Complaints Commissioner asking for an explanation re their sexist approach to crime investigation, lack of attendance re thefts (whilst asking for a Police Case number), etc.

If nothing else it gets it off your chest and gives them paperwork to do.

I am assuming you can offset the losses against any final settlement?

[Barrykearley]

I did just that a couple of days ago @C8RKH

I will need to return matters to court again and no doubt be criticised for doing so even though she is in breech of court order as that’s what happened last time. If you are female and an abuser court orders seem to be optional.

[C8RKH]

Sorry to hear this continues Barry, I'm amazed you manage to keep so upbeat in general!

I'm appalled at the way the (in)justice system seems to work in this country. It does seem to be stacked in the favour of "women" when it comes to matters such as divorce, behaviours, etc.

I knew one of the leading founders/members of "Fathers for Justice" and some of the stories are heartbreaking, in terms of the way fathers/males are treated by the system and how everything is stacked against them as their seems to be a prevailing assumption that woman can only be victims, not perpetrators. And yet, anyone who has ever worked with women can have an inkling as to just how down right nasty, contriving, manipulative and vengeful "some" (definitely not the majority) can be.

Quite shocking really how you are being treated here, at what point is the justice system asked for an explanation as to how these continuous "breaches" can seemingly go unpunished by the courts whilst you get dogs abuse for trying to behave as a responsible adult and follow the "rules" of the system.

[Kimbers]

Sounds like a nightmare.

And no comment sadly. Not allowed to say how poorly your case seems to be being dealt with.

And sadly the British judicial system (No matter how much some people talk about the patriarchy) is against men in these cases. Both in courts and at initial point of contact and to be fair the majority of domestic abuse does happen the other way round, but there are always the exceptions, such as your case.

I would have thought they had enough of a view of her drinking/violence/abusive behaviour to know what is happening. 

[C8RKH]

36 minutes ago, Kimbers said:

I would have thought they had enough of a view of her drinking/violence/abusive behaviour to know what is happening. 

This is key for me Tony. Surely all the "incidents" have been properly reported, and recorded, and so even the most basic of file management systems (including paper if the force is still that archaic) will allow an officer to see the complete picture and therefore frame their response.

It seems like a lack of common sense, time pressures, or both may be preventing that from happening.

[Barrykearley]

It seems each and every incident is looked at on its own merit. This however is where West Mercia Police are failing. It is VERY explicit in the Domestic Abuse act 2021 that an overarching view should be taken with domestic incidents that repeat and are abusive.

I have now put in a formal complaint asking very specific issues to be answered. It’s pointless no doubt - and I will NEVER assist the police in any way again and I’d doubt any of my kids would either.

[ChrisJ]

Have you contacted your MP ?

I know that they might all be thought of as useless, but when my wife to be was refused a tourist visa in 2003, despite guarantees from my Dad, and a reference from a friend of the British High Commissioner in Uganda - when my Dad complained to his MP (Lib Dem), he raised it with the Foreign Secretary, and a rocket was put up the arse of the High Commission. We were called back in and the visa issued immediately. When we moved to the UK in 2005, it was mentioned that there was no need to raise the issue with my Dad's MP this time around.

[Barrykearley]

Yes the local MP has seen it all. I think it’s widely accepted the police in this country are a complete shit show. Let’s face it the MET appear to have been left unscathed by the media in all the Covid enquiry stuff - even though they were sat watching politicians party while persecuting members of the public. 

[C8RKH]

13 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

I think it’s widely accepted the police in this country are a complete shit show.

A bit harsh.

I get hugely frustrated with the Police but after having a daughter who worked as an Officer I can assure you, you have no idea what their "day job" is really like.

They're massively overly burdened with "social work" and "duty of care" stuff that the people who should be "doing" seem to be left of from doing - social services, LA's, GP's, etc. So if falls to the Police to do. Massively unfair and hugely demoralising for them.

To be honest Barry, in your situation, my beef would be more with the courts and lawyers who just seem to have been beyond a joke.

I am sure that the person you are dealing with is an artful dodger when it comes to deceit, lying, pointing the finger, playing the victim card etc. I'd hate to have to be the copper to deal with that and to try to get it right every time.

That said, no excuse for them not to do their research when responding to allegations or altercations etc to ensure they have the full picture. That's just common sense.

Feel for you being manipulated like this. It just shows the law is an ass in these instances and it's about time we had some proper sexual equality instead of the wokeness and "false victim assumptions" we have now.

[Barrykearley]

It is harsh @C8RKH but sadly that’s the reality of the lived experience of my family and myself. 

the kids have today all independently filed theft complaints to the police regarding their items they cannot get returned.

what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger hey 🤪

[C8RKH]

Very sad state of affairs Barry. One day their mother will either wake up and realise what she has done, or not wake up at all if she carries on behaving and drinking like this. Either way. Sad.

[Barrykearley]

There is no happy ending - just and end. It’s frustrating when that may come however.

[C8RKH]

Just found out why the Police have been too busy to investigate your thefts @Barrykearley

4 police cars and 6 officers because a bloke was legally making a video on public land. The guys (and why is it always guys?) who make these videos are twonks with very sad lives. However, they ain't doing anything illegal and the search was probably based on a trumped up allegation by the security guard (unless the officer just made it up of course).

FFS, despite my best efforts to defend them, they really do need to get a grip. Handcuffs. For that. Outrageous.

Still a very tough job and there was no need for the "abuse" the video guy was giving the Police Officers. Just makes him sound even more like an idiot.

 

[tim_marra]

The guy was acting the prat, but the police presence was completely OTT. More shocking though was the state of that road!

[Barrykearley]

@C8RKH my kids yesterday got to the end point - they have had enough and have reported mum for theft of their possessions. We are some 22months on from fleeing and the end is inevitable but very slow. So the police now have another 3 incidents from 3 separate people to deal with all because they are utterly ineffective at law enforcement. The domestic abuse act 2021 is very clear and they are completely failing in enforcing and protecting. They are snowed under with these issues because of their own ineptitude and a lack of enforcement. Had they done something months ago they wouldn’t have the workload they currently have from the impacts of one abusive drunk.

[tim_marra]

@Barrykearley I admire your fortitude sir, and doff my hat to your calm demeanour in the face of all you endure 

[C8RKH]

11 hours ago, tim_marra said:

The guy was acting the prat, but the police presence was completely OTT. More shocking though was the state of that road!

Totally agree with you @tim_marra and I am not a fan of these camera and drone "clowns" that litter YouTube.

However, we need a law that states that stupid, dimwit, bully boy, security guards who call the police, or threaten, when people are filming (as is their right, whether we like it or not) are going to be cautioned or prosecuted for wasting Police time or disorderly conduct or whatever it is.

Stop the Police being called, and then having to respond, and you kill off the "worth" (sorry, couldn't think of a better word) of these stupid videos, and so kill off the "viewing pleasure" and the demand.

The Police could send out a flyer to EVERY company in their area, stating very clearly the "law" re filming and drone flying from/on public access/right of way points. They could then state very clearly that any request for Police attendance, or intimidation towards to the photographer/drone flyer would be met with either a caution or arrest. In other words, they could spend a small amount of time, Informing and Educating (which is one of their remits is it not), as opposed to a lot of time, effort and cost, responding and actioning.

And as for the female Police Officer who rose to the baiting, and starting spouting "anti-terrorist threats" then she really does need to take a look at the video, then in the mirror, to see what a complete and utter useless waste of time she came across as. She needs some "Informing and Educating" of her own, as all she did was to provide "click bait" and escalate the situation. What a sorry loser.

Inform and educate to cut out the nuisance calls, and then maybe people like Barry and his kids will get the response and support they need.

[Barrykearley]

Today it’s taken a pretty dark turn.

the story starts yesterday afternoon. I’m at home minding my own business and two retriever dogs are playing with the traffic in the road and end up coming into my garden. Collars but no tags. Now I’m fairly sure they were in the care of ex wife.

so the only thing I can do is pop them to the local vets - which I did. Job done. Vets ring owner - owner on holiday the dogs were at the dog sitters. Hmmmm. Now all though the Xmas period come wind and rain there have been dogs running free in the garden. The barking could be heard under the worst of weather conditions.

this morning - I jump in the van to go to work - drive halfway up the drive to be met by the very same two dogs playing in the road.

In the van they go, another post on Facebook, and after yesterdays I have a damn good idea just who’s dogs she is sitting. So I ain’t taking them to the same vets as I’m going the opposite direction. I ring the council dog warden.

all holy hell let’s loose. A friend of mine is contacted and threatened my ex wife. She’s demanding to know where I am and what I’m doing. Apparently she’s reported me for stealing them. Her dad is ringing me and I’ve already got the first instance of harassment against him lodged.  The owner is ringing my friend who’s the ex has been ranting at. My mate very clearly informs the lady just what I’ve been going through over the last near 2 years.

an hour or so later the owner rings me - shes in tears and has been told I’ve stolen her dogs, twice. Some gentle education and the dogs are now at home with me after a good feed and play awaiting her son to pick them up. The damn right lies she’s has peddled to this lady is shocking. However they are now coming home from holiday a few days early to deal with matters. She doesn’t want  the ex anywhere near her dogs now.

yet another police incident logged.

 

[chipp]

Crikey Barry, 14 pages must be enough for a channel 5 film by now.

[C8RKH]

Would hate to be the cast director for that film.

[oneshot]

If she was dog sitting with the dogs in her own home then  she needs to be licenced under the Animal Activities Licencing Act 2018. To board dogs in your own home you have to be inspected and have a licence issued. You could report her to the local council for boarding without a licence.