What made you happy today?

[johnpwalsh]

Cheers Bibs. 2015 BRING IT ON.

[mr.oogieboogie]

Looking for the mot for the s4 and finding out its still has an mot until may and the suns out

[johnpwalsh]

This one had to make me laugh and it was a genuine request. 

 

Here's one for the book's. Just had an invite as country manager of EnerMech in Kazakhstan to meet the president of the Republic of Kazakhstan to celebrate his 25 years in office. I resepctfully delined the invitation, I mean what would we speak about. Lotus, the price of taties in Aldi's, how to get a visa for Wendy to visit me in Kazakhstan, come on, A Scottish local loon meeting with the president of RoK for afternoon tea, dont think so.

[hyteck9]

I think you should go.  The only thing better than telling a story about getting invited to such an event, is telling the story of what happened once you got there.

[ChrisJ]

I agree with Brian.

 

I declined to sit on the stage with the President of Uganda during an election rally in 1996(?) - everyone I spoke thought that it would be a very violent time and that to get "involved" would be dangerous.

 

It was a very calm election and I've regretted not doing this ever since.

[johnpwalsh]

Points taken but I know the history and know well the corruption within the country so the price of tatties at Aldi's would be of no interest and as for Lotus, he could probably buy the company out of one of his minor slush funds or that of one of his offspring. I certainly cant see the Headline in the local papers saying Local Boy Makes Good, more probably, Local Boy Lands in Nick.

Or situations vacant, country manager required.

[molemot]

For new readers....last Tuesday I dislocated my left shoulder. See the "unhappy" thread...

 

This morning I went to wash up...and with a few stits and farts ( or even fits and starts) the gas ran out. No hot water. Hmmmm.... now, had I been a Clever Chap and swapped the bottles last time this happened? Or had I simply hit the changeover knob and I now had TWO empty bottles.....!!
Downstairs I trundled, heaved off the cover and lifted the two bottles...both the same weight. Therefore...both empty.

Bugger.

Needs must when Devil drives....so, back upstairs and fought my way into the big Mercedes jacket; that was interesting and would have formed a good subject for a Music Hall act, as quite a lot of contortion was needed! Then, downstairs to the car....opened the boot and cleared space for a gas bottle; one would do as they last 3 months or so each. Into workshop, get giant mole wrench (mole...now it's all going to work!) and undid the LH bottle...the one I had been using. Carried it to the car, put it into the boot, closed the boot.
 
Now for the interesting bit.....I got into the driver's seat and shut the door. Left hand fell naturally on the gear lever!!! Trial selected all gears...no problem, slight muscular twinge getting 1 and 2, otherwise nothing. Tried handbrake...perfectly normal. Moved arm across and grabbed the wheel....left hand holds the wheel quite naturally in the "Chauffeur's Position"....hands at "20 to 4" rather than "10 to 2"...the nobs don't want to see your greasy fingernails, James!!...so you keep your hands DOWN. All seems good....so started up and reversed out of the drive and drove away. No problems at all. Bowling down the road in fine style.....only thing was indicating....but that just required anticipation...a bit of thought and it was easy.
 
Drove to SuperU....unloaded the empty...walked to the kiosk and paid. There were now four of us waiting for gas, so the nice lady came over and did all 4 at once. I lifted the new bottle into the boot and drove off.
Got home...unloaded bottle...fitted it back into the system and replaced the cover...up the stairs and check...hot water!!!! No aches or pains or adverse results from the expedition, either. No fatigue or other hassles. Great.

Elapsed time from discovering gas empty to having hot water once more....less than an hour. So that's enough of being a cripple confined to barracks...I now know the limitations (none to speak of ) and my morale is several thousand percent higher than before. Hooray for Volvo for making a car that is perfectly adapted to restricted left arm movement; hooray for me for buying it in the first place; hooray for the gas running out and forcing me from the slough of despond that others would wish me in!!!

Moley is BACK......!!

[Bibs]

Good work

[johnpwalsh]

After two and a half days sitting outside in the freezing cold the wifes cosmetically challenged M100 now has a complete set of working door locks. Mike at Lotusbits has even redeamed himself by getting parts to me overnight which was also a happy moment. The thing now locks, unlocks, the boot now has a manual lock with a key rather than that stupid electronic, must have cost a fortune upgrade. Who ever designed the rod and linkage system for the doors must have been a masochist or had the hands of a two year old to get in and fix the stupid little bloody plastic clips. I now know why they had never been re attached after the door latch being replaced.

Now the outer door glass seals to replace, another nightmare I can see looming.

 

But hey, Mrs W is happy and thats the main thing.

 

For new readers....last Tuesday I dislocated my left shoulder. See the "unhappy" thread...

 

This morning I went to wash up...and with a few stits and farts ( or even fits and starts) the gas ran out. No hot water. Hmmmm.... now, had I been a Clever Chap and swapped the bottles last time this happened? Or had I simply hit the changeover knob and I now had TWO empty bottles.....!!
Downstairs I trundled, heaved off the cover and lifted the two bottles...both the same weight. Therefore...both empty.

Bugger.

Needs must when Devil drives....so, back upstairs and fought my way into the big Mercedes jacket; that was interesting and would have formed a good subject for a Music Hall act, as quite a lot of contortion was needed! Then, downstairs to the car....opened the boot and cleared space for a gas bottle; one would do as they last 3 months or so each. Into workshop, get giant mole wrench (mole...now it's all going to work!) and undid the LH bottle...the one I had been using. Carried it to the car, put it into the boot, closed the boot.
 
Now for the interesting bit.....I got into the driver's seat and shut the door. Left hand fell naturally on the gear lever!!! Trial selected all gears...no problem, slight muscular twinge getting 1 and 2, otherwise nothing. Tried handbrake...perfectly normal. Moved arm across and grabbed the wheel....left hand holds the wheel quite naturally in the "Chauffeur's Position"....hands at "20 to 4" rather than "10 to 2"...the nobs don't want to see your greasy fingernails, James!!...so you keep your hands DOWN. All seems good....so started up and reversed out of the drive and drove away. No problems at all. Bowling down the road in fine style.....only thing was indicating....but that just required anticipation...a bit of thought and it was easy.
 
Drove to SuperU....unloaded the empty...walked to the kiosk and paid. There were now four of us waiting for gas, so the nice lady came over and did all 4 at once. I lifted the new bottle into the boot and drove off.
Got home...unloaded bottle...fitted it back into the system and replaced the cover...up the stairs and check...hot water!!!! No aches or pains or adverse results from the expedition, either. No fatigue or other hassles. Great.

Elapsed time from discovering gas empty to having hot water once more....less than an hour. So that's enough of being a cripple confined to barracks...I now know the limitations (none to speak of ) and my morale is several thousand percent higher than before. Hooray for Volvo for making a car that is perfectly adapted to restricted left arm movement; hooray for me for buying it in the first place; hooray for the gas running out and forcing me from the slough of despond that others would wish me in!!!

Moley is BACK......!!

 

Well done, it's great what you can make the body do when you have too. Now try the Esprit. Gently.

[Fueltheburn]

Somebody's stupidity always puts a smile on my face.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/guy-gets-tattoo-of-alternator-thinks-its-a-turbo-1677028456

[Moxie]

Snow day at home with my son and resumption of an epic 4-day game of Monopoly.

[Bibs]

One of you needs to cheat! 

[Moxie]

You've hung with the little scoundrel, so one guess as to which of us cheats. Clue: The one who always wants to be the "banker."

[Bibs]

Next time I'm in town I'll show him a few new monopoly tricks

[Kimbers]

Sitting in my new Dining room, working from home. The wind is blowing, it's chucking it down outside. The kids are at College, the wife is at work and it's very very quiet (apart from the wind). Bliss! Apart from the work it would be perfect!

[molemot]

Might I suggest that everthing can be improved  by the addition of a glass of single malt? (or a suitable rum, if you happen to be Bibs.....)

[Moxie]

Next time I'm shJim I'll show him a few new monopoly tricks

 

Can you beat this? Pretty sure when he lands on either one, victory will be mine.

 

[Guest Mutley00]

I wonder if they put gloves on their feet and shoes on their hands?

[johnpwalsh]

Just before leaving home to come back to KZ as previously mentioned I repaired the M100 door and boot locks, well thenext day we decides to take the cosmetically challenged one for a run, the car that is not the wife. Anyway on the way home we would take a back road which can be good fun and very quiet but on this particular day whilst blasting along the single track tar way with a 6 foot drop on either side into good old Scottish bog we happen to meet the school bus with a lady driver. Well the said Lady driver obviously didnt know what brakes were or how pull over even a little bit too allow for other traffic so said little M100 has to brake faisrly sharpish and pull onto the rather narrow grass verge, of course at this point we also find find the road a bit frosty so the little M100 struggles a bit, so she is now broad side on to the bog with me holding on for all I'm worth so just as the little M100 is ready to drop down the embankment there appears a big gorse bush directly in front of us which the car obviously hits. Well the little M100 flips back up on the off side wheels from the nearside, goes past the said bus, back on the tar and carry's on. And my lovely wife said in all honestly while my heart is in my mouth. Did you mean to do that !!

Shit that was close, did I say no it was lucky, did  hell as like.;

[basalte]

Just got a new garage to rent  for the Elite only 200 yards from home ! One which does not leak filthy water / bits of drain sealant (from my vain attempt to plug the roof leaks) all over it every time it rains. Halfords car cover proved not really the answer. 

Landlord`s response was basically "if you don`t like it you know what to do". Well, for your information I am now doing it !

[dixi4uk]

What made me happy today?

 

An email reply from LotusBits.

 

That's a first for me!

 

(They say they may even have the part for my Elite!)

 

Whaahoo

[mr.oogieboogie]

Got the s4 out

[molemot]

My niece Lucy has got engaged to her inamorata, Andy Cockroft. We're all jolly happy about it! Lucy teaches classics at Millfield School, and Andy does nuclear engineering for EDF so he fits perfectly with our family ethos....(!)

[Kalli]

Asshat at work's been posturing for the past 5 months under the false impression that he's my boss. I've been the nice guy and let it slide...until now. After he sent a sarcastic email with a purpose solely to demean and belittle...I threw it back in his face, using all the 'held back' bits of information i've had for the past few months. Secret applause and congratulations all around the office. I've had a cheeky grin for the past 4 hours...

 

I love office politics

[s4simon]

Got the s4 out

 

I get mine out every week.

 

The girls love it. ;-)