Divorce laws

[Barrykearley]

Thanks chaps.

Today she’s flown off to Malta with my eldest and her boyfriend for a fortnight. Daisy was in a right grump with me last night - I had no idea why and she wouldn’t say.

This afternoon - the courts have issued paperwork for an order against her mum and yesterday she had to try and get an emergency adjournment. Oh well. She’s got that until 01/08/22 - but she’s finally going to have to answer to her abuse. If I succeed in that or not - is upto an independent judge. Who knows.

The kids are safer and happier away from her. What a sorry state of affairs. She really needs to check into rehab.

[Barrykearley]

Police round again Saturday to take yet more details.

They gave the green light for the kids possessions to be removed as it’s a civil matter.

Im now expecting a visit today from the police after Danny removed the last of their stuff yesterday. The person looking after the house was on the phone to me last night asking if someone’s been in - umm yes - my kids stuff has been removed as requested - tell her what you like. Ffs

[C8RKH]

Keep strong Barry. Hopefully not long before you can move on.

I hope she realises that if she misbehaves in Malta the Police there are nowhere near as "friendly" as the police here 

[Barrykearley]

Thanks @C8RKH I’m keeping myself sane enjoying life chap. These minor inconveniences will all be sorted soo enough and I can crack on. Not working since Feb has been a revelation for me - and I’m loving life. 

Oh - and younger women really do shave years off you 🤪🤭

[C8RKH]

3 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

Oh - and younger women really do shave  🤪🤭

FTFY

[Barrykearley]

On the subject of shaven pussys @C8RKH - muffin is feeling so much better for her trim 😎

[Bibs]

[C8RKH]

4 minutes ago, Barrykearley said:

On the subject of shaven pussys @C8RKH - muffin is feeling so much better for her trim 😎

Looks like a puppet from the Gremlins film.

Sorry Barry but that is one fug ugly pussy!

[Barrykearley]

On 18/07/2022 at 07:39, Barrykearley said:

Im now expecting a visit today from the police after Danny removed the last of their stuff yesterday. The person looking after the house was on the phone to me last night asking if someone’s been in - umm yes - my kids stuff has been removed as requested - tell her what you like. Ffs

No police - instead another solicitors letter threatening an order against myself.

sadly said solicitors letter is not only completely incorrect but full of yet more false accusations - so today - keys for the house given to the solicitors and 6 more independent pieces of evidence supplied to the courts.

The 1st of August simply can’t come round fast enough.

[Escape]

Hang in there mate!

And for the record, I find the grumpy look muffin is sporting rather cute. I'd adopt her in a heartbeat! 😉

[Barrykearley]

Eldest came to see me yesterday after being away with mum for 2 weeks.

unless I withdraw the court case against her mum she will never speak to me again. I’m afraid I simply have to safeguard the two kids whom live with me and I will not cower to such demands. She is an adult and entitled to make her decisions as am I and I simply refuse to be controlled by anyone again.

I will let the judge decide on Monday.

[mdw]

3 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

Eldest came to see me yesterday after being away with mum for 2 weeks.

unless I withdraw the court case against her mum she will never speak to me again. I’m afraid I simply have to safeguard the two kids whom live with me and I will not cower to such demands. She is an adult and entitled to make her decisions as am I and I simply refuse to be controlled by anyone again.

I will let the judge decide on Monday.

Tough call but probably right. 

[Frickin_idiot]

9 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

Eldest came to see me yesterday after being away with mum for 2 weeks.

unless I withdraw the court case against her mum she will never speak to me again. I’m afraid I simply have to safeguard the two kids whom live with me and I will not cower to such demands. She is an adult and entitled to make her decisions as am I and I simply refuse to be controlled by anyone again.

I will let the judge decide on Monday.

That is a toughie and not a call that I would like to face. That said I am sure that under similar circumstances I'd be making the same decision.

Stay strong!

[eeyoreish]

I don't have kids of my own but, from what I've seen in other families there are sometimes these temporary blips where emotions run high and hasty decisions get made that seem entirely logical at the time. Eventually though I think most children (however old) work out for themselves what is/was going on and come to a more balanced view of who's who and what's what.

Might be bumpy for a while but I'm sure it'll sort itself out in the end.

[chipp]

Nearly lost my young daughter due to her siding completely with her mother in the years after our divorce.

The years rolled on and evevtually she worked out things for herself and it all came good.

[march]

A neighbour went through pretty much the same as you appear to be going through. The eldest, a daughter, had the same attitude. Fortunately a little time has past and she now comes up at weekends with her horse and spends the weekend riding and everything is very amicable. It was a bit rough for him to start with but it all worked out in the end - I am sure (and hope) it will be the same for you.

[C8RKH]

Stay strong @Barrykearley. I am sure it is no coincidence that your eldest came back at you after a holiday were I am sure her mother never once mentioned what was happening nor tried to influence her mind during that special one to one bonding time.

[Barrykearley]

It’s amazing some of the things she had memories of all of a sudden. Very skewed ones at that.

It really is hurtful presently - but that’s just life and I need to crack on with things that I can deal with and resolve. I’ve little or no doubt that mum will resolve the issues for me anyway with her spiralling.

[madmax]

Hello Barry

I'm saddened to hear what you're going through and even more so that you're faced with what one of your daughters is doing. I had read something recently that was quite long and involved but when I saw what you were going through, it resonated with me, back to a time in my own life when things were not so good.

In this context I'll share a little of what I read in the hope it helps 

it came from some seasoned psychologist from California so perhaps can be taken with a pinch of salt.

She said " We spend years sacrificing our mental and emotional health in abusive relationships under the notion that we have to because these people are our family"

She goes on to talk about five reasons why it's ok to cut toxic family relationships out of your life but it's a bit hard hitting.

As mentioned before, time has a way of healing many things and this rift you find yourself in with your daughter will hopefully mend, given time.

Best of luck with everything - hang on in there and keep talking and sharing - many people on here may have gone through similar experiences and come out the other side - they show it can be done.

[Kimbers]

Let us know how the court case goes mate!

[Barrykearley]

I’ve got an award - she’s not allowed within a certain distance, isn’t allowed to drive any of my children while under the influence of alcohol, isn’t allowed to destroy possessions and isn’t allowed to drive past my property.

im happy with that - roll on freedom.

Back in the uk Friday night and off to Brum with a friend 😉 Saturday night 

[Kimbers]

So pleased you got what you wanted mate. Any advice you know where I am 

[pete]

No mention of bank accounts?

[Barrykearley]

Not long to go @pete- then the house gets sold and I’m gonna be cashed out. She’s screwed now frankly with a DD case to look forward to

[C8RKH]

3 hours ago, Barrykearley said:

isn’t allowed to drive any of my children while under the influence of alcohol

Great result Barry but shouldn't that be "isn't allowed to drive while under the influence of alcohol" full stop!