Divorce laws

[Cdm2018]

I had the usual child abuser domestic violent stuff all thrown at me during my last divorce

it took two former ex wives including one who is social worker to put forward statement of support that I was a decent father coupled with CAFCASS report which didn’t throw any doubts on me resulting in me gaining shared custody for my daughter.

but I had to prove my innocence rather than the false accusations being thrown out on groundless basis this due to men being regarded as guilty first !

the truth will come out and children know deep down what’s going on ! 

[Barrykearley]

@Cdm2018 hang on chap - maybe you are reading this in the wrong context.

to be absolutely clear - it’s my wife whom is the abuser. I have social services reports to prove exactly this. Along with police, paramedics and doctors to agree.

it was either I fled and took the kids or they would have been removed.

[Cdm2018]

Yes I can see from your comments you  have an abusive partner but I had the same to varying degree but the justice system still seemed to rely that the men were still having to prove their innocence 

in your case I think you’re giving someone enough rope …….

I had joined a family  support group who not only support dads but also grandparents and other male or female relatives 

I was able to tap into their legal structure and basically half my legal costs but more importantly got the moral support 

[C8RKH]

It does seem still, despite the gains made generally with equality, that men are assumed to be guilty and at fault, and to this day a mother is seemingly more important and more entitled than a father.

The sad thing is that this view seems to be fuelled by many of the same women who campaign for equality for women.

 

 

[Barrykearley]

@C8RKH the very latest divorce changes have made a positive impact on this matter 

[Barrykearley]

Let’s just say I’ve actioned some issues that have escalated this massively now on the other side.

Don’t expect any updates for a while 🤣

[Barrykearley]

Well it’s been getting worse - and I’m sure there still some way to go as well.

But today - I’ve got a dress fitting with Alice for her prom dress. I simply cannot wait.

[eeyoreish]

Taking her in the Esprit?

[Barrykearley]

I don’t think I am @eeyoreish - her and her friend wish to go in the vitesse.

[C8RKH]

1 hour ago, Barrykearley said:

I don’t think I am @eeyoreish - her and her friend wish to go in the vitesse.

Good chance they'll actually get there then

[exeterjeep]

Well try to avoid having a crash when out on the road.

[eeyoreish]

The Vitesse is still a pretty cool ride to arrive in 👍

[tim_marra]

Depends if you want to Rover round, or arrive in Triumph?

[Barrykearley]

I have to say that she’s looking pretty nice.

[Rambo]

Nice views. Are those the Malvern Hills in the background? 

[Barrykearley]

That’s Abberley hills in the background there.

[eeyoreish]

Nice wide rims 

[Kimbers]

So you guys seem more up on stuff than me. A Friend of mine, who I worked with for many years when I was Dealer based, has split with his Mrs of 20 years. They both work and both have their own income and savings. they own a house together but as is often the way, he earns more so has paid the mortgage for 20 years. They also both have their own "Things" he's a bit like me and collects "Stuff" mainly car models, watches etc, She collected sparkly stuff and weirdly a couple of classic cars (though he may have paid for them as gifts).

So, how does the money get split? It's amicable BTW.

Does all the money get added together and then split 50/50 and if thats the case what about the collectables? Does he get one of her cars and her a load of his models?

He hasn't asked me but I was just wondering.

 

[Barrykearley]

1 hour ago, Kimbers said:

Does all the money get added together and then split 50/50 and if thats the case what about the collectables? Does he get one of her cars and her a load of his models?

He hasn't asked me but I was just wondering.

They can do anything they like. If it’s amicable it really helps - all they need to do is get it drawn up into a consent order and then approved by the courts. Legally it’s a default of 50:50 but assets held before marriage can be considered differently if both parties agree.

sadly - mine ain’t like that - I can’t wait to be rid of the problem.

[910Esprit]

I would imagine things like pension pots would generally need be considered (assuming there is one).   I would also imagine earlier child care could be taken into account as that could supress the wife's (generally the case)  earning potential.   

[Kimbers]

Now thats an interesting one as his wife has a Pension pot of hundreds of thousands and he has virtually nothing. Well under £70k. But he has Savings and she doesn't. It's all such a minefield. I can understand why its gets nasty even when you have the best intentions.

[Barrykearley]

Then he is absolutely entitled to a chunk of that. It’s a matrimonial asset after all.

 

[Techyd]

If there are no children involved and amicable like you say it should be reasonably straight forward - you do have choices as to what you 'go for' when it comes to seeking income from the others pension pot.

Unfortunately when I divorced, I couldn't afford a solicitor myself, and there were children involved, so suffice to say the split went 70 / 30 and my child maintenance is a monthly astronomical amount on top of that.  We were reasonably amicable but it was clear she went for what she was 'entitled' to from the advice she received, however did stop short on the pension.

I'm glad the laws have changed around the accountability, as I got stitched up there as well!

@Barrykearley - I hope everything gets sorted as soon as possible for you.  It's a stressful and unsettling thing to go through especially with how difficult your ex is being.  Echoing above comments - stay calm and strong and follow the legal advice.

[Barrykearley]

Thanks @Techyd. It’s going to be painful. On the plus side I have my kids living with me and she has all but destroyed her relationships with them. 
Frankly I just want the whole thing over with.

[Barrykearley]

Monday night the Kona EV was written off by her.

I’m trying to obtain very specific information. From what I can glean this is about to get even more messy.