What made you UNHAPPY today!

[Sparky]

That looks like a Bells or Teachers injury.  A decent single malt would have just glanced off, leaving but a scuff.

[C8RKH]

1 hour ago, Kimbers said:

My son said I knocked a full litre bottle of whiskey off the shelf last night and stopped it breaking with my foot. He said my reactions were awesome. He also said it pissed blood out and I cried. I think he might be right. One broken toe!

Argh yuck. You've got lady feet, all white and waxed!   A mans toes have got to have wee long black hairs on them.   Yeuw...........................

[Chillidoggy]

1 hour ago, Kimbers said:

My son said I knocked a full litre bottle of whiskey off the shelf last night and stopped it breaking with my foot. He said my reactions were awesome. He also said it pissed blood out and I cried. I think he might be right. One broken toe!

 

And that shade of nail polish really isn’t you.

[Kimbers]

Those are my normal feet, not waxed and Hairy? I'm not a hobbit! And the nail varnish was blood........Serves me right for not guessing pissed Tony would be clumsy and wear some shoes/slippers.

[march]

Anyone want a Badger?

The bloody thing has taken up residence in my workshop having come in through the cat flap, duffed up the farm moggy and ate it's supper. Have poked and prodded it but it wont move. I suspect some arse has been releasing tame badgers near us as it is certainly not frightened of people or dogs (and our big lad doesn't like badgers).

I wondered why there was this humongous stinking poo on the workshop floor this morning, only found the badger when it decided it didn't like the sound of an angle grinder and proceeded to start knocking stuff over just now.

The bloody thing stinks as well.

[RoflOnMyWaffle]

Can we name him Borris? 

1 minute ago, march said:

Anyone want a Badger?

The bloody thing has taken up residence in my workshop having come in through the cat flap, duffed up the farm moggy and ate it's supper. Have poked and prodded it but it wont move. I suspect some arse has been releasing tame badgers near us as it is certainly not frightened of people or dogs (and our big lad doesn't like badgers).

I wondered why there was this humongous stinking poo on the workshop floor this morning, only found the badger when it decided it didn't like the sound of an angle grinder and proceeded to start knocking stuff over just now.

The bloody thing stinks as well.

 

[march]

@RoflOnMyWaffle You can name it whatever you like if you come and get it

[Barrykearley]

6 minutes ago, march said:

Anyone want a Badger?

The bloody thing has taken up residence in my workshop having come in through the cat flap, duffed up the farm moggy and ate it's supper. Have poked and prodded it but it wont move. I suspect some arse has been releasing tame badgers near us as it is certainly not frightened of people or dogs (and our big lad doesn't like badgers).

I wondered why there was this humongous stinking poo on the workshop floor this morning, only found the badger when it decided it didn't like the sound of an angle grinder and proceeded to start knocking stuff over just now.

The bloody thing stinks as well.

I suggest you load up the 12 - and squint looking at it again. It’s almost certainly what’s referred to as a striped fox - and just needs killing

[march]

Don't want to make a mess of the back of the workshop or create a nice 12 bore shaped hole in it (the shed that is).

[Barrykearley]

May I suggest a spade

[RoflOnMyWaffle]

Just now, Barrykearley said:

May I suggest a spade

That's a silly name!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[silverfrost]

Can people keep them as pets ? 

I remember the one from Wind in the willows been quitestablished stern !

[johnpwalsh]

5 hours ago, silverfrost said:

Can people keep them as pets ? 

I remember the one from Wind in the willows been quitestablished stern !

People, please stop badgering the poor guy. He just don't like it.

[Alfa2Evora]

On ‎20‎/‎06‎/‎2018 at 16:01, Kimbers said:

My son said I knocked a full litre bottle of whiskey off the shelf last night and stopped it breaking with my foot. He said my reactions were awesome. He also said it pissed blood out and I cried. I think he might be right. One broken toe!

Jeez - man up! That's barely a nick.

A couple of years back, I completed the remaining 4 hours of a 10 hour shift with a foot looking like this........................

..........and managed to drive the Evora home afterwards.

Mind you, being 'brave' was probably why I then spent the following 7 weeks on crutches and it's still giving me jip to this day,  .

[Kimbers]

14 hours ago, march said:

Don't want to make a mess of the back of the workshop or create a nice 12 bore shaped hole in it (the shed that is).

Jeeeezus man don't do that! Badgers are so protected you can't look at one in a funny way without being arrested!

Many of the worst offenses, like Coarsing or poaching there are something like 2 pages on each. Badgers literally have their own book. They are so protected that the Govt had to have an act of parliament and change a law just to kill/cull some that were suspected of having TB! 

I am not joking. If you kill it and anyone finds out it is a very serious offense. Take Killing a Burglar, who is unarmed, holding his hands up, shouting "Please don't hurt me, I am drunk and walked into the wrong house looking for my wife who has dementia and may have come in here, and I'm 99 and blind and the son of the local Chief Constable....look I'll turn my back to prove I am harmless"....and times it by 3 and thats how bad it would be for you.

[molemot]

Try phoning the RSPCA.... worked for me, with a fox....

[RoflOnMyWaffle]

So that's a no to me adopting him?

Just kidding, get the RSPCA on the lil smelly fella.

He'll probs bring all his mates back come winter.

[march]

@Kimbers - Don't worry I had no intention of shooting it, the only time I would have considered it was if it was seriously injured or very ill (which we initially thought as it seemed so tame). I opened up the workshop overnight and removed anything it could hide behind - and hey presto no more Badger this morning. After disinfecting the workshop I will be blocking up the cat flap.

Our main concern was if it was ill (likely to be TB) as we run a herd of pedigree Organic cattle and would hate for it to pass on anything to them - that would just be completely soul destroying. As for the law it is bonkers but what can you do - Brian May thinks they are cute so they must be. As a note I would never use 12 bore on an animal - too indiscriminate. 

@molemot - RSPCA was Plan B if hadn't gone by the morning.

@RoflOnMyWaffle - Sorry, Borris is gone, he buggered off overnight.

 

[silverfrost]

I think the home owner would win that argument Kimbers, 99 years old and son of the Chief of police....miss take there is no age discrimination in the force with the head been about 120 yrs old lol.

March 

Glad the little fellow went on his way safely.  Looked online at tame badgers, slightly disturbed at the amount of photos showing dogs with damaged faces from badger bateing,  are they really that vicious ?

[march]

49 minutes ago, silverfrost said:

are they really that vicious

Yes! - If you have a dog you really need to hope they never find one in the undergrowth. (Just to make sure - I am against any sport that inflicts or risks unnecessary injury on animals both illegal and legal, and that includes horse racing!)

[Chillidoggy]

6 hours ago, march said:

Yes! - If you have a dog you really need to hope they never find one in the undergrowth. (Just to make sure - I am against any sport that inflicts or risks unnecessary injury on animals both illegal and legal, and that includes horse racing!)

Just as well it buggered off, the last thing you need is Brian May on your doorstep.

[ramjet]

I now have to wear hearing aids.  

[Barrykearley]

Pardon?

[johnpwalsh]

What did Michael say. I couldn't hear a thing.

[Barrykearley]

Think he wanted some fork handles