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LEF Jokes & Gags thread


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May be an image of 5 people and text that says "In this photo we can see several interesting details: -a child distracted by technology, ignoring the danger of the real world. -an alpha male protecting the child against serious injuries. -and two Jedi Masters using force to stop the bat ROCBLE"

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Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Get your wife to look down her own top and then at the same time ask her to spell attic.

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I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Found out today that marriage is defined by three rings.

The engagement ring

The wedding ring

The suffering

 

Why do women think men are like floor tiles?

Because they think if they lay them right, once, they can walk all over them for life.

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I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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I take it your wife isn't reading TLF? 😁

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I have made many mistakes in my life. Buying a multiple Lotus is not one of them.

 

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Of course not @Escape. She'd really make me suffer! 🤣😂🤣😂🤪

I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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Especially that last one! 🤣

Should they put up signs over double beds 'can result in pregnancy', similar to 'hot' on a coffee cup? 🙄

I have made many mistakes in my life. Buying a multiple Lotus is not one of them.

 

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Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

 

 

 

Because they've got no balls to scratch 

I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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In other news, the sexual position known as "69" will now be referred to as 96.

 

Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has gone up.

 

In other news, scientists have worked out why women live longer than men 

http://www.facebook.com/reel/674556181095206?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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Scientists have finally found the reason for some women losing 95% of their sex drive.

Apparently it's food related and called "wedding cake".

I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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Was just trying to raise a smile @Chillidoggy given the doom and gloom predictions and the conspiracy theory that a very small number of very wealthy people are trying to make everyone poor and subserviant through raising interest rates to the point they were at (before they trippled!) when I bought my first house as things were just so easy then....

 

I asked a personal trainer to teach me to do the splits. "how flexible are you?" he said, I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

I ordered a chicken, and an egg, from Amazon at the same time. I'll let you know...

 

 

I came into this world screaming and covered in someone elses blood. I'll probably leave it in the same way. 

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